3 THINGS I AM GIVING UP IN 2023 AND I THINK YOU SHOULD TOO
1. HIDING MY VOICE.
It might be hard for you to believe it but for the majority of my life I kept my mouth shut.
I didn’t speak up and I didn’t voice my opinion.
I didn’t stand up for myself when my male bosses abused me.
I didn’t speak up when I disagreed with my colleagues.
I didn’t express my needs and shared my true feelings in relationships, which only led to me being unhappy and depressed.
I kept quiet.
I was afraid that I would be judged.
I was afraid that I would be fired.
I was afraid that I would be abandoned and rejected.
I was scared that I would be physically hurt.
I was scared that I would not be understood.
I was afraid that I would not be seen as the authority.
It took me a lot of work to discover that all of this holding back came down to me being insecure about my own worth. I still remember the shock I got when during my 7-hour Breakthrough session of digging to the real CORE of my problems I discovered that I didn’t really love myself. I consciously did but I had a deep underlying limiting belief that I wasn’t worthy of love (hello childhood trauma).
Only once I started exploring the depths of my Unconscious Programming, my childhood conditioning, the traumatic experiences from the past, identifying how the father and mother figure and my environment shaped me… all of my behaviour as an adult started to make sense. With that raised awareness I was able to CLEAR the sabotaging programming I was running with the tools of NLP, Hypnosis and Time Line Therapy®.
While I cleared a lot of these unconscious blocks and learnt how to use my voice, there is still another layer I want to step into, so with this approaching new year I am making this commitment to myself and to you, that I will be sharing the unfiltered, the real, the raw version of this life-long personal development journey and of what it actually takes to change your life for the better.
I am sick and tired of people shovelling in our faces the golden and sparkly pinnacle of their success and using psychological tricks to make you buy into the extraordinary reality they apparently live, whilst forgetting to acknowledge the often painful journey that comes with creating a new, better life for yourself. I fell for it myself and I admit of having gone through the glamourising phase too. I am wiser now and learnt my lessons.
And if there is one thing I’d witnessed while working with successful people, on the outside their lives might seem like a fairytale everyone wants to live, but you don’t see the real behind the scenes of what it takes to make it happen. There are a lot of broken people and I will be sharing more of this side of the journey in the future.
2. THE CHASE.
If you are a person who loves being busy, constantly being in motion and thinks that they cannot afford taking a break “I’ll sleep when I’m dead kinda attitude”, this might be for you.
It might be easy to fall into the trap of busyness, especially when we look at social media and see our fellow successful colleagues or people we look up to in the industry who are making things happen.
This unhealthy comparison and seeing their achievements can make you feel less significant than you actually are. It can make you feel like you are not doing enough, not being enough. What am I missing out on?
Be real with yourself - this constant chase, the comparison, the need to be more and do more is only going to lead to a burnout if you don’t catch yourself quickly enough, you know that, right?
If you’re failing to see it, maybe it’s time to get yourself a coach to help you with your nervous system regulation now before it gets too late.
The hustle culture is a TOXIC culture, can we please STOP glorifying it?
Those male motivational speakers you are listening to on YouTube are only feeding you these poisonous subconscious beliefs that if you don’t hustle, you won’t achieve what you want.
For the love of yourself, please don’t fall into this toxic trap. You go at your own pace.
You will get to where you need to when you take conscious, continuous action, and that also includes taking regular breaks.
FYI the constant load of projects, task piling and ambitious goal setting can quickly turn into a big chunk of overwhelm leading to paralysis and procrastination. I don’t think that’s very productive, do you?
3. THE SCARCITY.
I am intrigued about your goals and desires. What do you really want to achieve?
Do you want more success? Financial prosperity? Longing for a thriving and loving relationship?
That’s amazing! I absolutely want that for you too!
Now let me ask you this…
➤ What would happen if that love started knocking on your door, would you let it in or would you be scared of getting hurt?
➤ Would you be too scared to commit? Did you know that situationships mess with your mind more than relationships?
➤ Would you be scared of showing your true self and opening up in front of another person? Would the old wounds prevent you from showing love and receiving love because you’re scared of having your heart broken again?
You probably wouldn’t even realise that you had these blocks, because they are UNCONSCIOUS.
Yet, fear not, your actions will showcase what’s rooted on the Unconscious level. Think conflicts, arguments and breakups after a few months, toxic bonding, compromising on your needs, cheating, playing games, staying in unhappy relationships for longer than you need to because of the attachment, fear of abandonment and rejection.
And now let’s think of your career.
What would happen if you actually got that massive promotion? What if that opportunity to present or give a speech to a wider audience presented itself today? Would you go for it?
You know that this would come with you being SEEN. You would be more exposed than you are right now, exposed to judgment and critique (the majority of which would probably come from your internal talk anyway).
You would be sharing your knowledge and expertise, but what if you felt like you didn’t know enough?
After all there are other people who know more than you, there are people with more authority. Who am I to speak up?
What if you feel insecure about your body?
Often when we think of success, be it presenting in front of a large group, leading team meetings, showing up on camera, giving interviews and speeches, we also think physical appearance - even if you don’t consciously think of it, you do pay attention to the external.
I know it might sound silly but what if you are not confident about that extra fold on your belly? What if when someone looks at you all you think of are those small things you don’t like about your appearance?
Do you think you will show up with shatterproof confidence?
And what if that amazing opportunity to make a lot of money showed up, would you go for it or would you fear the success?
Many people despite wanting to make a lot of money, subconsciously are afraid of having it. This scarcity mindset is very much present in helping professions where people love what they do and because they want to help others they are scared of charging more, often because they undermine the value their services provide.
They often price the services based on their PERSONAL worth, not the transformation they offer.
Do you know what all of the above is called?
SELF-SABOTAGE!
When your Unconscious Mind is filled with such a hefty set of limiting beliefs, you will struggle to show up. You will not feel confident and will question yourself and your own capabilities over and over again. You will start your nagging negative self-talk, your prices will remain low or you might not attract the said success because you will be scared.
Your CONSCIOUS desire of success will be sabotaged by your UNCONSCIOUS beliefs.
WHAT’S THE SOLUTION HERE?
CLEAR YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS PROJECTIONS.
♦ Clear your beliefs about feeling guilty about making, having and investing money.
♦ Clear the insecurities about your body and find confidence even with that extra fold on your belly.
♦ Clear the betrayal, abandonment and anger and embrace the love WITHIN first.
Learn that it’s SAFE to open up & RECEIVE.
HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?
Do your work, and I mean it.
Invest your time, energy and money, yes money, into making yourself a better person.
All the self-help books and podcasts are great but how much action do you actually take once you gain all the knowledge? Thought so.
This is what we do differently in my trainings - you learn the knowledge, but you are also equipped with tools and techniques which you then APPLY in your life. I am going to be transparent with you, these tools and principles really helped me get through the toughest times last year. Be it when doing humanitarian work and facing so much fear, desperation and hurt; in my professional life when being faced with the glimpse of “fame”, rejection and exhaustion and in my personal life when processing grief and sadness and letting go of someone I deeply loved.
Last year was the biggest testimony of how powerful NLP is - it really is a way of living.
Hire a coach, join an accountability group, create a support circle.
Not to brag but even though I know a lot about reprogramming the mind, I personally work with coaches myself and will continue to do so, because even with all the knowledge I cannot see my own blind spots.
The raw truth is that this journey can get lonely and painful as hell at times and in those moments when you’re at what feels like your lowest, it’s the strong support circle that will really help you stay sane and push you forward beyond the threshold of pain and fear.
WHAT ARE YOU GIVING UP IN 2023?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alina is a Mind Trainer, Master Coach and the Founder of the Infinite Mind Academy.
Alina is an NLP Trainer & Master Coach and has a decade of experience of managing private medical and wellness clinics in the heart of London and working with UHNWI. She is also a trained Nutritional Therapist and a PT and her work mainly focuses on teaching ambitious professionals and entrepreneurs how to stop-self sabotage, improve performance and create the life on their terms.
If you would like to work with Alina or join her Master Your Mind - Master Your Life training, get in touch!
